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Perhaps your whole purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others
I`m not sure if this woman in the Starbucks line ahead of me is ordering a drink or casting a spell.
Game of Thrones characters should have to wear jerseys with their names on the back
Why do they write PIZZA all over the box? What else could possibly be in there???
my ex-girlfriend is a famous porn star. But would she be pissed if she found out.
I bet everyone in Gotham prisons really hates the guy that killed Bruce Wayne`s parents.
My mother might be right.. I was the reason someone invented birth control.
There`s no way to look cool when the doctor walks into your exam room just as you`re blowing up a rubber glove.
If heat makes things expand, then I don`t have a weight problem ... I am just Hot!
The only way I`ll ever run a marathon is if I set up the booths and hand out tags.
Netflix would be by far the best dating site. "Here are 9 other singles in your area who have also watched Pokemon for 12 straight hrs"
Given enough coffee, I believe I could rule the world.
In honor of this years` Super Bowl participants respective States of residence, they`ve changed kickoff to 4:20 Eastern Standard time.
To any ex-military that live on my street I apologize for whatever messages we may be sending, 2yo has discovered light switches
I need to put someone on my weekend to-do list