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I have a condition that prevents me from going on a diet ... I get hungry.
Remember kids, NEVER light fireworks. Let the adults, who have been drinking all day, light them instead!
Ya know those scenes where the guy shoves everything off the table and throws a woman on it yeah I`ve only done that with pizza
Women say they love a man in uniform but when i go clubbing in my McDonalds uniform none of them will talk to me....I`m confused
My doctor says each piece of bacon takes 9 minutes off your life... If my math is right, I should`ve died in 1781...
I don`t think its a coincidence that "Sober" and "So bored" sound very much alike
Call me crazy, but the last person who did is still in a full body cast, so it`s up to you.
Being with you is like listening to golf on the radio.
Just saw someone eat a kit kat bar without breaking off each individual piece and now I can`t stop twitching.
The problem with alcohol is that... it wears off.
Hello everyone. Look at your status, now back to mine, now back to yours, now back to mine. Sadly, yours isn’t mine. But if you stopped posting about other things and made this your status, yours could be like mine. Look down, back up. Where are you? You’re on Facebook, reading the status your status could be like.
I would unblock you but then I`d be admitting I`d made a mistake and that`s just not my thing.
I know the light has changed twice people but I`m playing air drums until Moby Dick is over...sit back and enjoy the show please...
Just realized the irony of putting Bacon on my VeggieBurger..........
Scientists say the universe is made up of protons, neutrons and electrons. They forgot to mention Morons!