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Corn mazes are great because how often does one get to experience the feeling of being trapped by corn
A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
You know you`re old when you think "pokemon" is a gay rastafarian
You call it "Blacking Out" I call it a "Surprise Nap"
If weed is ever legalized, I can`t wait to see the commercials...
This bald spot just appeared out of thin hair.
If Crunch Berries aren`t considered fresh fruit I don`t think this diet is going to work out.
I got kicked out of my Community Theater group when the director asked to see me Limp. How was I to know he was talking about walking?
Life is different in Christian frats: “You should’ve seen this hot chick I didn’t bang.” “Way to save it for marriage, bro.” *fist bump*
I know karate, jujitsu, judo, taekwondo and 28 other dangerous words. Still wanna` mess with me?
Do these people in movies who wander off into the woods alone at night not watch movies?
this isn`t the status you`re looking for
One man’s potato is another man’s vodka.
Did you know you can go to any gym without having to announce it on Facebook?
Porn can be so misleading. I quit my pizza delivery job after two days.