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whats the difference between a dog and a fox????? six shots
Sometimes my neighbors love my music so much that they invite the police to listen.
Fun Fact: A pizza will never sleep with your best friend behind your back.
There are no bad photos. That’s just how you look sometimes.
The worst thing about that guy who posts non-stop gym updates is that all that exercise is gonna make him live longer.
Automatic doors make me feel like a Jedi
How many selfies does it take to get to the center of attention?
if your an astronaut, and you don`t end a relationship with "look, I just need space.." then your wasting everyones time
If someone posts a picture of their kid on Facebook making a stupid face, I like to comment with, "Oh, NOW I see the resemblance!"
I like when google answers my stupid questions because it means I`m not the only one asking google stupid questions.
According to my fitness app, I ate a 6 mile fruit roll-up.
I finally quit eating pizza for good, now I only eat pizza for evil.
True love is biting a slice of pizza when you`re fully aware that it will burn the roof of your mouth.
I want to see a pregnancy test commercial where 2 single people high five the sh!t out of each other because it`s negative.
I`m going to become a hermit as soon as I find a cave with a decent wifi connection.