Daily Silly Status

I bet you $567.89 you can’t guess how much I owe my bookie.

Some of the best decisions I’ve ever made involved me clicking cancel instead of send.

Those awkward moments when you catch yourself feeling frustrated with your kids for being just like you....

Happy St. Patrick`s Day to the fool that gave up alcohol for Lent.

I just read that burglars use Facebook to see when people aren’t home. So from now on, I’m at home. With a rifle. And a hungry crocodile.

I`m not saying my doctor is young, but he just texted me "2mer is B-9, woot!"

i make the other half of the Oreo watch.

I bet short people get really excited when they accidentally hit their head on things.

Last week a 13-year-old girl became the youngest female to climb Mount Everest. She didn’t mean to. She was just texting her friend and the next thing she knew she was on top of Mount Everest.

I need a partner in wine.

This woman just flipped me off and I couldn`t agree more.

One man’s potato is another man’s vodka.

I finally saw Kung Fu Panda. I`m certainly not an expert, but I thought the nunchuck scene looked kind of fake.

I never use the phrase, "Your guess is as good as mine" because, well... it`s not.

Don`t get out of bed, it`s a trap.