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When I say "I cleaned my room", I usually mean I made a path from my door to my bed.
I`m starting to think all that stuff about Y2K is not going to happen !
That`s not how I met your mother.
So far I’ve spent most of 2016 flipping off the weather channel.
I just found handcuffs, a whip and a mask in my girlfriend’s bedroom. I can’t believe she’s a super hero.
If Shrek can find love, so can you. What I`m trying to say is, you look like Shrek.
I`ll never forget what my dad said when I gave him the picture I drew and asked him to put on the refrigerator: "Wtf Dude, you`re 23."
Superman wears his underwear outside his pants and he`s a "hero". But I do, and I`m "weird", "creepy" and "never invited over again."
Hit me with your pet shark #RuinAn80sSong
I got pulled over for drunk driving last night. In my defense I didn’t even know I was driving.
I hate when homesless people shake their cup of coins at me. It`s like yeah I know you have more money than me, no need to rub it in.
Four words that I never want to hear: There is no food
Well it`s almost time for that " New Year -- New Me " bullsh_t again!
awesome collection!
One man`s LOL is another man`s WTF