Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I just ended a long-term relationship today ... I’m ok though, it wasn’t mine.
I never meant to be so cold, I never meant to be so cold. - Mother nature
DATING TIP: Any time someone is hot and you`re too scared to approach them, remind yourself that they`ve probably had diarrhea at some point
You and I are just different. And by different I mean you`re stupid.
I’m sick of closing out every job interview with “I was young. I needed the money.”
The way my kids act at Walmart, it`s just a matter of time before the security camera footage is a hit reality show!
Before meeting a hot chick, wish I could talk to the dude who`s sick of her bullsh!t.
This empty wallet looks like I`ll be laughing obnoxiously at some guy`s awful jokes in a bar tonight.
Pretty proud of myself, I got a lot of procrastinating done today
Still hoping that one day I get to ride a kayak while it’s strapped to the top of someone’s car.
Guuuyyyysssss, never ever play leapfrog with a unicorn.... Its not worth it.....
I`d do anything to lose 20lbs. Well, except for eating healthy or working out.
Sometimes I wake up grumpy but sometimes I let her sleep instead..
I`m not saying your cat doesn`t care about you, I`m saying if Lassie was a cat, Timmy would still be in that well.
Note to self: you never read these notes so stop writing them.