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That urge you get to write, "No one cares" on someone`s status.
I`ve done a lot of things over the years ... But acting normal has never been one of them.
I saved my husband`s life insurance company 1 million dollars by switching to xanax.
I’m starting to think plates are called china because most of them look the same.
We all need to take great interest in our future because we will spend the rest of our life there.
When people start praying before a meal, I close my eyes and imagine how far I could throw a potato if I really put my heart into it.
A lot of people do not realize that the actor who played Wilson in Castaway is the same actor from the volleyball scene in Top Gun.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning.
Adulthood is when 4:30am is early in the morning instead of late at night.
The sucking moment when you wave to someone & they haven`t noticed you & all are watching you & you feel why you waved in the first place & still you run after the person to stop & say HI
Whenever i see a facebook page Celebrate; "We have reached 200K fans". I just ask myself, do they know how many of those 200K died or left facebook or can`t remember their password after they liked the page?
I`m not a doctor, but I play one on eHarmony.
Ever notice your Christmas stocking has just enough room for chocolates and a bottle of wine. Coincidence? I don`t think soooo.
Honestly, I have no idea what I would even do with 5 hours of energy.
The only time I’ve passionately knocked everything off a table was when I was trying to make room for a pizza.