Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
everybody has a girlfriend or boyfriend, and i`m just over here like `i love food`.
FITNESS TIP: Set a regular gym schedule that`s easy to keep up with. For example, I work out once every 4 years after I vote for president.
They say love is in every corner... my life must be a f*cking circle!
Why is it that the more annoying the tune, the harder it is to get it out of your head?
Just give me coffee and no one gets hurt.
Perhaps we should hold elections on the last Friday of November, with polling stations at Walmart, Target and Apple
I’ve made some pretty bad choices in life but I have to admit, having orange juice with Oreos was the worst.
I`m kinda like an onion, not in some deep I have layers way, but if you see me naked, you`ll cry.
sex is like a joke, some get it some don`t.....
I bet genies were a real thing until one jerk wished for genies not to exist anymore.
is it just me, or did anyone else think that we would be living like the Jetson´s by 2011?
Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.
Cats constantly look at you like you just asked them for a ride to the airport.
Relatives comin` ~ hide all awesome stuff!
Calling out your ex`s name during sex is a nice way to show your current lover that you won`t forget them after you break up.