Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My level of sarcasm is to the point where I don`t even know if I`m kidding or not.
I don’t like being told what to do…unless I’m naked.
I`m all for the "going green" thing, but I just can`t bring myself to buy toilet paper that says, "100% Recycled."
Do bees even have knees?
Rawwrrr means I love you in dinosaur. Everyone knows that, silly
The best thing about owning a Smart Car is if you get too drunk at the bar you can just carry it home.
Never fight anyone who bows to you first.
I wonder if they let me grow cannabis on Farmville, I`ll be able to sell it on Mafia Wars?
There`s really no telling how successful I could have been if the internet hadn`t been invented...
Just so you know, I am already planning on being an a$$hole tomorrow.
Today I learned that not all people like ventriloquists. Particularly my gynecologist.
IMPORTANT REMINDER: Sunday is Mother`s Day, which means Facebook is gonna be annoying as crap...
A massage is just professional petting for humans.
I liked your facebook update, only so I can unlike it.
Whenever you feel sad, just remember that somewhere in this world there`s an idiot pulling a door that says "PUSH"..