Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Sometimes all you need is $500 million dollars.
I`ve been waxing my car for twenty years and I still don`t know karate.
Woke up with my credit card lying on my keyboard. I can`t wait to see what drunk me bought sober me.
Turns out I`m ambidextrous at yet another sport! And I even scored a bingo twice. Left-handed!
Sorry I liked your status, I was cleaning my phone.
Key to a great marriage ... Lack of imagination.
"Of course you`re the prettiest girl here, you just need to talk louder" - alcohol
Is there a phobia for leaving the house when your phone isn`t fully charged? There should be.
I once bought shoes in China that said "made around the corner"
Everything just seems much better when you`re in denial
Do you think we like to sing in the shower because we all love a good soap opera?
You have to PAY for a speeding ticket?! I thought it was a reward for beating other drivers..
A woman just dropped a 20 dollar bill next to me. I thought, `What would Jesus do?`, so I turned it into wine ... Well, I bought wine.
is sick and tired and tired of being sick and sick of being tired!
Is there any way to really know how many camouflage shirts are in your house?