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Is it rude to throw breath mints in someones mouth while they`re talking?
I`ve disappointed a lot of people in my life, you`re not special.
I worry about people who write "taken" in their bios. Where did they go? Who took them? Why aren`t we helping to find them?
Can’t find your children? Try turning off the wifi. They appear suddenly.
I`ll be back before you can pronounce actillimandataquerin altosapaoyabayadoondib ab!
I`m not a control freak. I just know what`s best...for everyone.
I know it`s rude to ask someone about their pregnancy if you`re unsure, but my hubby looks about 4 months along & the suspense is killing me
Of course everyone seems sexy in a nightclub. There`s liquor and you can`t hear them.
Running away does not help with the problems unless you are fat
I`m not crazy, I`m just special!!...No, wait...Maybe I am crazy. One second...I have to talk to myself about this, hold on...
Sometimes my kid likes me, but I`m pretty sure it`s only because I`m his Oreo dealer.
Spent morning at the farmers market carefully selecting fruits and vegetables to throw away next Saturday.
People who have more than 10 items in the express line… We see you and we are judging you.
I don`t like morning people ... Or mornings ... Or people.
If you love something, feed it so much that it get’s too fat for anyone else to want.