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Do trolls even live under bridges anymore? Or have they all relocated to the Internet?
Smooth move.........ExLax
How do you know you`re old? ... Check your glove box for paper maps ...
The Home Alone house is up for sale for 2.4 mil. I’d pay 2.5 (if I had it) just so I could say, “Keep the change you filthy animal.”
*Financial Status* Just rinsed off a paper plate...
Todays hot tip: Boomerangs and Attention Deficit Disorder don`t mix.
I don`t think boredom gets enough blame for the trouble it causes.
If life is unfair to everyone, doesn`t that make life fair?
I still remember when everyone wanted their phone to be smaller. Now that we can watch porn on them, everyone wants them bigger.
Waitress: `Do u have any questions about the menu?` Me: `What kind of font is this?`
no..i am not drunk, floors needs hugs too ! :p
Our neighbor said he wouldn`t mind me stealing their newspaper if I would at least put a robe on first.
Apparently it`s ok to leash your dog to a bike rack, but it`s illegal to leash your kid to one. Parenting is hard...
I have some jokes about unemployment but they need some work.
A quiet man, is a thinking man. A quiet woman, is usually mad.