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We may be an advanced nation but we still have to remind employees to wash their hands when they pee.
I forgot to make a resolution, so I`m pretty much going to just write out everything I did last night and add the word "stop" to the beginning.
I like pressing F5. It`s so refreshing.
Perhaps we should hold elections on the last Friday of November, with polling stations at Walmart, Target and Apple
I can already tell this is going to be one of those days where I am not rich and famous.
I’m beginning to think that for some of you, the wheels on your bus do not go round & round.
Home sounds like a nice place, until they say they’re going to put you in one.
I laughed more at the Broncos offense then I did at the commercials.
Politicians are people who have too little an amount of morals and ethics to remain lawyers.
The awkward moment when you’re not sure if something is your actual memory or if your brain made it up.
Porn is the only type of entertainment where "not watching the whole thing" means it was good.
Mom in poetic mood ....Asked me to express emptiness .... I showed her my wallet ........ n m cheek still burns .... :-p :-p
I keep an identical glass of vodka next to the glass of water on my bedside table for a refreshing morning game of Russian Roulette
I am NOT high maintenance, I simply have more preferences than most.
Wal-Mart: Because going to Target requires a shower.