Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Trust me, you want me medicated!!
People say, “You have to work on a marriage.” I say, “No thank you. I already have a job
By 5, the human child can walk and feed itself, but doesn`t yet stray from home, as it relies on parents for tablet charging and maintenance
If our son ever decides he wants to play sports, I`ll sign up to be his coach. It`s important that he knows that I`ll swear at other kids too.
Some people post because they need attention and validation. Not me. (Thanks for reading this, the `Like` button is below)
Coffee is nature’s way of saying “Go ahead, get drunk on a weeknight, I got your back!”
Three weeks without a signal typo!
If its the thought that counts, then I`ve banged so many hot chicks.
Presidents’ Day is just another made up holiday to sell more presidents
All true wisdom is found on T-Shirts.
More funny statuses will be posted here soon
You posted a drunk selfie last night at 2:04 AM and then deleted it five minutes later. But I took a screenshot. Let`s negotiate.
They should open a bar and call it "The Gym" so I can be like those annoying people on Facebook who brag about going to the gym every day.
Emails from your boss assigning you work do not qualify as cyber bullying. I checked.
Every time I get an eyelash in my eye, I`m reminded of how quickly I would die in the wild.