Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I just wanted you all to know that I’m leaving Facebook. This ride has been a blast and I’ve made a ton of friends who I really do consider friends in the truest sense. Your humor and wit is amazing. I’ll miss all of you, but I’ve decided I need to spend more time with my family. So... see you after breakfast
I thought I was having deja vu, but it turns out I do the exact same things every day.
My birthday is coming up. I dont like to think of it as getting older I like to think of it as experience points.
Live in the moment. Unless the moment sucks. Then live on Facebook.
Who let the owls out?? Don`t sing the chorus you`ll make it worse.
Sometimes I run toward people & expect them to know that I want them to do the Dirty Dancing lift but they never know and I slam into them.
"Last man standing" is the winner in most contests, but the runner up in musical chairs.
Zoning out is your brain’s way of saying “You look bored. Let me take you to a better place.”
I`m no different than any other bachelor. I put my pants on one leg at a time and clean the house once every new girlfriend.
I wish I loved anything as much as rappers love female dogs and gardening tools.
Good for you, people that do things.
i wasnt tht drunk u was holding a ballon thinking it was a comdom
My girlfriend isn`t much of a wrestler but you should see her box!!
I read that India launched a rocket to Mars the other day. That seems like a strange place to put a call center?
I automatically assume you`re fat if your Facebook picture is a car