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I may look like I`m doing nothing, but in my head I`m quite busy.
I`m trying to be healthy and grow my own food but I can`t find any Twinkie seeds. :/
What do you mean I didn’t win, I ate more wet t-shirts than anyone else.
hmm ... I wonder what I´m thinking?
Yeah he`s still bugging me...he thinks Harass is two words.
If you can`t celebrate Valentine`s Day with someone you love, forget about it at a bar that you like...
Patience is what I have when there are too many witnesses.
I`ve come to the sad realization nobody will ever triumphantly pour Gatorade on me for any reason
I now have more electronic screens in my life than friends.
99% of people in this world are stupid, luckily I`m in the other 2%
When I die I`m going to go to heaven and God is going to be like nope, remember what you said on Facebook
For many people, "live and learn" is one task too many.
Today is boozeday, I mean Tuesday...same difference!
If da Vinci were alive today, the "Mona Lisa" would have been called "IMG-20121020-00463.jpg"
I’m positive that somewhere out there exists a video montage of me dancing alone in various elevators.