Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
How do bats hang upside down without crapping on themselves?
Last night I dreamed I was eating a giant marshmallow. When I woke up in the morning, my pillow was gone...
I`m running out of people I can tolerate!
The average person farts 14 times a day. Finally, I`m above average at something!
The only thing worse than a male chauvinistic pig is a woman that won’t do as she is told
Sorry for whatever I said when I was hungry.
Every Chrysler commercial should begin with them apologizing for the PT Cruiser.
Donald Trump`s hair saw its shadow. We have six more weeks of protesting.
My cat is wearing a cone & has learned to scoop up his food and let it slide into his mouth and it`s giving me serious ideas, folks
Uses 3 gallons of water to rinse out yogurt container so it can go into recycling bin
I`m currently writing a book about my love of dogs and gardening. It`s called b*tches and hoes
Don’t judge me until you’ve walked a mile with my shoes….shoved up your a$$.
Nobody looks back at their life and remembers the nights they got plenty of sleep.
While it was raining today, I thought for fun I would run out there and scream "I`m melting I`m melting!"
Shouldn`t old people drive faster than everyone else since they have less time left to waste?