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If suppositories were just a bit smaller, they would be a whole lot easier to swallow...........................
I wonder if clouds ever look down on us and say "Hey look. That one is shaped like an idiot
I really hate it when people need constant re-assurance. You know what I mean?
To everybody that is single don`t worry you will have your day............ Palm Sunday is just around the corner
Drink till she´s cute, but stop before the wedding
My shrink says if I take these pills I won`t see you guys anymore.
If there was an award for most pessimistic, I probably wouldn’t even be nominated.
My life has a great cast, but I can’t really figure out the plot.
I saw a cool bumper sticker on a back of a SUV . . . “Do you follow Jesus this close?”
Found out the difference between onions and men. I don`t cry when I`m chopping up men.
I`m a big advocate of the `You started it` method of defense in an argument.
YOU ARE NOT THE BOSS OF ME is not a good thing to say to your boss.
Of all the people who "claim" not to give a sh!t, I`m pretty sure the guy standing barefoot in front of the urinal at the gym is the winner.
I am a gentleman, based on the clubs I go to.
My boss yelled at me yesterday "It`s the fifth time you`ve been late to work this week! Do you know what that means?!" I said, "Probably that it`s Friday?"…