Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Marriage teaches you a lot about yourself. For instance, I`ve learned that I don`t need to use so many paper towels, and they`re expensive.
Why didn`t you tell me that I wasn`t going to like you
Apparently "I`ll break your god damn legs" isn`t the problem solving skills that employers are looking for, at least according to HR anyway.
is frickin awesome! Nough Said.
I think for Halloween I am going to go as Karma. Some of you should be worried.
As a kid, my parents told me I could be anyone I wanted to be. Turns out, this is called “Identity Theft”.
Did I already do my deja vu joke?
Facebook made billions by saying “Hey, remember that kid you haven’t seen since the third grade? He’s a parent who hates Obama now.”
Tell a girl she pretty she`ll believe it for a minute. Tell a girl she has Miley Cyrus` butt she`ll believe it for a lifetime
If people could read my mind, I’d get punched in the face a lot.
I guess I need to buy some new drink coasters because I finally ran out of AOL free trial CDs.
Everyone’s beautiful on the inside. Some people just need a few good stab holes to let that beauty out.
90% of parenting is just screaming at your kids to stop screaming.
People like you are the reason people like me take pills.
Remember when mowhawks meant you were a tough punk rocker? Now they just mean that you`re 3 and your parents are idiots.