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why earn money when it comes easier when you just ask
The human body is roughly 60% water. I`m not fat, I`m flooded.
A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
If you never set it, you always have the excuse, "I overslept because the alarm didn`t go off."
I’m just going to put an “Out of Order” sticker on my forehead and call it a day.
All my biological clock does, is let me know when it`s time to eat again
I don’t repeat gossip, so listen carefully
A mouse trap, placed on top on of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep.
Don`t pick on Aquaman! The crime rate underwater is pretty damn low the last time I checked.
Why do we only crave what`s bad for us? Alcohol, deep fried food, sex with strangers. You never hear anyone say "I`d kill for some salad"
According to WebMD, MedicineNet, Healthline, Mayo Clinic, Symptom Checker, NetDoctor, MedlinePlus, Johns Hopkins and InfoMedNet, I`m OCD.
"Iowa man arrested after fight over peanut butter and jelly sandwiches" - I`m just gonna assume this is 1 of you guys
I`m making a list of regrets. Just to be sure I`m accurate, how do you spell your name again?
Apple and Blackberry should team up and make a phone called the Pie.
I force my dog to watch animal abuse commercials just to show him how good he has it.