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My tacos arrived with a fork on the plate. I can only guess it`s there to stab potential taco thieves.
That`s weird, all this time I thought the Birds and the Bees was a dance from the 50`s.
It`s really ironic that I mostly use my driver`s license to buy stuff that impairs my ability to drive.
I feel like I`m not getting the full experience of a gas station bathroom if I don`t cut and dye my hair and change my identity.
How about putting that screaming kid on vibrate
I know you`re the instructor but I`ve seen Ghost 47 times so I know for a fact this IS how pottery is made!
Those teardrop tattoos mean you cried during the notebook, right?
Go buy a burrito, leave it in your fridge, get drunk, come home and be your own best secret admirer.
Being an adult is mostly being exhausted, wishing you hadn`t made plans, and wondering how you hurt your back.
Yea...sure! I was hoping someone would come and stand uncomfortably close to me today
Might wake up early and go running but I also might win the lottery, the odds are about the same
Every Facebook photo album could be titled either "Envy Me!" or "Pity Me!"
If the breakfast club took place now, all those kids would just be silently texting about their sh!tty Saturday & never make friends w/ each other.
Dear whoever is playing sweet child o` mine at 2:30 in the night at full blaring volume to disturb the whole neighborhood......NICE!
"Love your friends, Not their sisters." & "Love your sisters, Not their friends." -By Mummy...