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I have this talent of getting tired without doing nothing.
I’m too young to be too old for everything.
I don`t have ADHD. I have ADOLS. Attention deficit..OH LOOK! Skittles!
Scientists are adding an extra second to the year 2015. Yeah. Here`s the bad news. You just wasted it reading this post.
There`s really no telling how successful I could have been if the internet hadn`t been invented...
Pretty soon you`ll be able to get married online, instead of saying "I do" you will have to click "I agree to these terms and conditions."
Dear Tequila, you were supposed to make me funnier, smarter and a better dancer. I saw the video, we need to talk.
I am upping my standards.. so up yours!
If you can make a woman laugh, you`re almost there. If you`re almost there & she laughs, now that`s a different thing.
Dreams are like pictures. I don`t care about yours unless I`m in them.
He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame.
A revolving door is an IQ test you can fail in public.
Don`t cry because it`s over. Smile because it happened. -Me, to my empty pizza box
Friending someone on Facebook and complaining about what they post is like phoning someone to tell them you don’t want to talk to them.
Just seen a homeless dude with a sign that said "too ugly to prostitute."