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Drying out wet fireworks in the oven is not a good idea. Trust me on this
My neck, My back, My Netflix and my snacks...
Teleportation seems like an awesome idea until the creepy guy from down the street is suddenly washing your back in the shower.
Girls love shoes… so if she throws one at you, you know she’s really pissed off.
So how long before GoFundMe is our nation`s leading health care provider?
I’m what you would call “indoorsy”
I really wish Walmart had a 10 teeth or more line...
Does anyone have the recipe for ice cubes? Asking for a friend.
It was hard getting over my addiction to the Hokey Pokey, but I’ve turned myself around.
You know you`re getting old when speed limits start to seem reasonable to you.
There’s literally no way to know how many chameleons are in your house.
eHarmony matched me with a bean bag chair with duct tape on it
Story of my life : 1. i wake up .... 2. i go to school.... 3. i see a girl .... 4. i run to her and kiss her.... Actually, the right order is 2,3,4,1 ..
I`m not worried about the zombie apocalypse that is coming. I`m worried about the fcuktard apocalypse that is here right now.
dude i wasent tht drunk you were huging a peice of chese saying ill never let u go sponge bob