Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Note to Denver Broncos: Marijuana is NOT a performance enhancing drug!
The best neighbors are the ones you never see.
Netflix doesn’t care if u showered or not
Remember kids, NEVER light fireworks. Let the adults, who have been drinking all day, light them instead!
Simply amazing how one word spoils the whole sentence: I’m getting laid.....off.
WEB MD should have a simple answer like “Calm down-you probably just ate too many cookies!”
I`m not fat, God gave me built in airbags because I`m so precious.
Life is so much funnier when you have a dirty mind.
Matt Damon is set to play an all-action version of Jesus in his new Easter based Biblical film, "Bourne Again Christian".
What doesn`t kill you makes you have lots of hospital bills.
Love your neighbor, but don`t get caught...
Jobs are like relationships. You have them, you cry about it. You don’t have them, you cry about it.
Can you make garlic bread out of frozen waffles? Asking for someone who wishes they had remembered garlic bread at the store.
It’s amazing how easily “I have 10 minutes to waste before I need to leave” accidentally turns into “oh crap I’m running late.”
Friends who buy you food are friends for life.