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My teen thought it`d be funny to post as me on Facebook. I laughed and laughed and changed the wi-fi password. Good times!
I`m pretty sure whoever coined the phrase " rise and shine", doesn`t do it anymore.
"Let`s give the bad guy a ponytail." - 80s movies
You can`t make me believe there`s a shortage of jobs in this country when there are 23 cash registers at WalMart and only 3 cashiers.
Boobs are to men what laser pointers are to cats
Don’t piss off old people. The older they get, the less ‘life in prison’ is a deterrent.
We`re all mature until someone pulls out bubble wrap.
Every day can be Friday if you`re really irresponsible.
It`s ok, ghosts, no-one believes in me either.
3 words, 8 letters, easy to say, hard to prove... ..."I`m a zebra."
Okay kids don`t ever talk to strangers or take candy from strangers or go to stranger`s houses except on the day we worship the devil.
How old do I have to be when I can start pulling in front of cars without looking?
I hate that little line of dirt that I can never get into the dust pan.
"Hello 911?" "Someone just stole my status on Facebook... yes, I`ll hold."
Send me one more game request and I`m showing up at your house drunk, at 4am, naked and demanding a game of Twister