Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Stretch marks? You mean sick a$$ lightning tattoos.
You say stalker. I say unpaid private investigator.
How many different animals did we have to jump on the backs of before we discovered horses were cool with it?
That awkward moment when the mosquito is more interested in persistently banging it`s head against the windshield of your vehicle in an attempt to escape your presence than it is in trying to bite you. #feelingunattractive
Maybe Mondays are not that bad. Maybe its your job that sucks balls.
How about a T.V. show that just explains the backstory on all of the "For External Use Only" warning labels.
Some days the problem is I care too much... Today was not one of those days...
anyone celebrating anything today? Anything at all... doesn`t matter what. I just need something to drink to.
If I owned a copy store I would only hire identical twins.
My boyfriend is being so nice to me since I showed him how easy it was to remove blood from carpeting...
Touch my food and suffer the consequences.
lf the people in the movies listened to me, they would still be alive.
My life is based on a true story
Buy a "World`s Greatest Boss" mug and drink out of it in front of your boss.
Not sure if I logged into Facebook or the Cartoon Network.