Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My driver`s side window stopped working,,,, So yeah,, I`m probably gonna starve to death..
I donate blood 5 times a year just so I`m less and less related to some of my relatives.
Most people decide to have scramble eggs immediately after thinking: "I`ll just flip this omelette"
People say love is the best feeling ever. However I think finding a toilet right away when you have diarrhea is better.
If no one from the future comes back to stop you, is it really that bad of an idea?
Shopping for bridesmaid dresses with 5 other women, today. If you never hear from me again, I committed suicide by nail file.
LIKE if you talk to yourself and laugh because you’re just that hilarious.
Adding “and sh!t” at the end of a sentence can make anything sound thug. Example: “I was playing with my bubbles and sh!t.”
It`s always the darkest before dawn. So if you are going to steal your neighbor`s newspaper that`s the best time to do it.
My favorite thing around the holidays is being put into a group message with 200 people reply "Who`s This"
Once you get past my charm, good looks, intelligence and my sense of humor, I think it’s my modesty that stands out.
I swear my toddler yells at me in Vietnamese
Some life lessons are so profound; you only need to do them one time. Putting Icy Hot on my balls, for example …
Every Girls Night Out has at least one crier.
It looks like bathroom tai chi but it`s me trying to trigger the automatic paper towel dispenser.