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They say love is more important than money. I`d like to see them go and try to pay their bills with a hug.
Really Google Autocomplete? You honestly think I want to search for "hardcore poem"?
Instructions for having an adventure: 1. Stand outside restaurant. 2. Wait for someone to ask if you`re the valet. 3. Say yes.
Thank you for informing me that you have a stick figure family of 6 and a dog. Your minivan had me under the impression that you were wild and single.
Don`t worry about the grass on the other side. It`s not your grass.
I wish the buck stopped here…I could use a few.
It doesn’t matter how many signs I put up around the office, HR said high five a co-worker in the face with a shovel day isn’t a thing.
I dated this musician who used to play songs for me over the phone. Then I realized he was just putting me on hold.
I need a partner in wine.
Half-Drunk is a waste of money.
I`ve spotted six Pokémon today but I don`t have the game so I may need new meds...
pens and pencils are drumsticks and desks and textbooks are drum kits. its a fact.
Truthfully, I`d like you all a whole lot better if you were bacon.
I often worry about the safety of my children, especially the one that is rolling their eyes at me & talking back right now.
They say you can tell how someone has sex by how they dance…. So ladies be prepared for a lot of counting and clapping.