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People hate the truth. Luckily, the Truth doesn`t give a $#!t.
How weird was the first robber to wear pantyhose on his face
I bought a blowup doll today, but I won`t blow her up until tomorrow. I don`t want to seem desperate.
Spilling a full beer you paid for is the adult equivalent of letting go of a balloon.
It`s really quite simple ... I do what I want! ... The End.
Saying I have a drinking problem is like saying Bruce Lee had a kung fu problem, it`s not a problem if you`re good at it.
I`d like to help you out. Which way did you come in?
If my fridge had glass doors I would still stand there and hold the door open.
Can anybody PLEASE tell me where you buy Common Sense?? I know several people that need some!!!
Missed connection: I was a 15 year old boy, you were 1984 Madonna.
If it`s the thought that counts ... Then I should probably be in jail
What’s the difference between partly cloudy and partly sunny?
People keep thinking that I care ... Wierd.
50 years ago you had to get really f*cking drunk to drop your phone in a urinal.
If Jesus was the son of Mary and he was the Lamb of God, Does that mean Mary had a Little Lamb?