Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Put that down you fat piece of sh!t` - the title of the dieting book I`m writing.
Here`s $30. Drink until I am really good looking, then come and talk to me.
If someone hates you for no apparent reason, give them one.
Zoos would be cooler if you had to fight each animal before you could see the next one.
Commence six months of the clock in my car being wrong.
Ways to tell a woman is mad at you: 1. She is silent. 2. She is yelling. 3. She acts different. 4. She acts the same. 5. She kills you.
You may think it`s bad grammar but I assure you it`s just laziness.
I spend hours on Facebook and then think, “Well, that was pointless”
The best person to get thrown in jail with would have to be the Kool-Aid Man.
After spending the last week stealing cars and killing people I just found out GTA had missions.
I think people who use "go fly a kite" as an insult don`t really understand kites or insults.
You can tell how old someone is by what part of the chex mix is their favorite.
Ever notice that no one ever has three cats? They either have one or two cats, then it jumps to 17.
How can they have a Facebook group called Facebookers Anonymous? That`s like trying to hold a successful AA meeting in a bar.
The awkward moment when someone deletes their comment on facebook and you look like you’re talking to yourself.