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I hope Mexico doesn`t raise the cost of Tequila to pay for this wall.
Ha = I didn`t find that funny. Haha = That was funny. Hahahahaha = I want to sleep with you.
If by crunches you mean Captain Crunch cereal, then yes I do crunches.
I`m always surprised when heavily tattooed couples have a baby and it comes out blank
Dont piss me off...I`ll give your number to all the kids and tell them it`s Santa`s hot line!
I feel sorry for historians, they have such a hard time letting go of the past.
People are like music, some speak the truth and others are just noise.
You`ve got to love yourself. But not in public places.
Hockey is much better if you imagine the teams are fighting over the world’s last Oreo.
I have an amazing psychic ability to find objects just before people lose them. Unfortunately, the police call it theft.
At this point Washington DC is basically just an elaborate promotional stunt for Grand Theft Auto V.
I`m old enough to remember being the tv remote.
People keep mistaking my "wow"s for compliments.
Within 2 minutes, I can gather enough things to allow me to sit and watch tv without getting up for at least 4 hours... Don`t question my laziness
You find it offensive?... I find it funny.... That`s why I`m happier than you