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On the bright side, I`m relieved we live in a society where we acknowledge that the people who make sandwiches are artists.
I`m now fit to make my regular annual resolution. The accomplishment is the problem
there are so many scams on the internet now...... Send me $19.95 an I`ll tell you how you can avoid them
I think stupid people were put on this planet to test my anger management skills.
Talking to you makes me invent new swear words.
Excessive consumption of alcohol seems like a good idea.
Life gets expensive when you trust a cute woman.
Save electricity! Would you like it if someone turned you on and then left?
Why buy it for $7 when you can make it yourself with $92 worth of craft supplies.
When we married, she treated me like a God. As time went by, the letters got reversed
Welcome to my bedroom,this is where the magic happens.....and by that I mean this is where I read my Harry Potter books.
If you slept with my husband I`d be like "OMG how much do I owe you?"
You guys make me wanna be a better alcoholic!
I`m at my most cardio when I am moving the treadmill into storage
Porn can be so misleading. I quit my pizza delivery job after two days.