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I may look like I`m doing nothing, but in my head I`m quite busy.
It`s ok if you don`t like my personality,,, I`ve got others.
Kids may be a gift, but I like playing with the box it came in.
My train of thought is loco, no motive.
One would have to assume that Amish chicks carve their own sex toys.
Santa must be the bravest man around. Who else would let a bunch of deer pull them around in a sleigh during hunting season?
Why do we say "A word to the wise" when it`s the stupid ones who need it?
My ex girlfriend had a really weird fetish. She used to dress up as herself and then act like a f*cking b!tch all the time.
Euphoria....the feeling you get when you finally beat "that" level on Candy Crush.
I wonder if the earth teases other planets for having no life.
Slowly, Waldo`s wife and Mr. Sandiego started putting the pieces together
Naked and Afraid also describes the last time I spent a night at a Holiday Inn
Self checkout must have been invented by a guy who had to buy tampons.
I think I`m going to run for political office, so people can dig up dirt on me. I have been wanting to piece together my twenties.
It`s always best to fart when there`s a baby on the bus. They always get the blame.