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We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
Let`s talk about how fabulous u think I am.
In my most recent survey,,, four out of five women talked crap about the fifth one whenever she was out of earshot.
I`m not impatient. You`re just slow.
Enough with the lies, people who drink decaf coffee, tell us what your game plan is.
When sliding down the banister of life, always make sure that the end is knob free!
I guarantee there`s a pregnant teenager somewhere who thinks `Ebola` would be a lovely name for their child.
The longest yard for me is that space between me and the nacho dip
Sixth in line to the throne takes on a different meaning when you’re not in the royal family but in a dive bar.
People who don`t understand sarcasm are awesome.
Chinese scientists have discovered the rare rock n roll panda it will only eat A wop bop a loo lop a wop Bamboo
if your looking for love sorry to disappoint you im already in a relationship with fun and freedom. :-)
Who’s that sexy beast…………..oh I clicked on my own profile again. ;)
Some people are good listeners. Mostly, though, they`re just nodding and thinking about bacon.
Getting a text from someone when I`m trying to Facebook is the emotional equivalent to walking into a spider web.