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Remember years ago when we didn`t have facebook and we had to take pictures of our food and get the film developed at the chemist get all your friends round your house and show them what you have been eating ...the good old days
Rolling out of bed is easy. Getting up off of the floor is another story.
Just found a shopping list in this cart that said, "Beer, wine, crap like that", so apparently my soulmate is still out there.
I love you in a bipolar way because I hate you.
Saying “do I smell popcorn ” right after you fart, so everyone takes in a deep breath.
That amazing moment when you smack the remote and it actually works!
Hi everyone! Welcome to AA. This is a "judgment free" zone...unless we`re talking about Janice who ate all the cookies last week.
I`m great in bed" ~ breakfast
My life is a very complicated drinking game
I suspects that whoever named that Icelandic volcano (Eyjafjallajokull) must have fallen asleep on their keyboard while thinking it up.
I don`t drink these days. I`m allergic to alcohol and narcotics. I break out in handcuffs.
Well it’s time to go from sitting on my office chair, to sitting in traffic, to sitting on my couch. I’m very skilled at sitting.
Only you can prevent bathroom mirror pictures.
No matter how lazy you feel, just remember that Goldilocks decided to take a nap during a break and enter.
I self medicate, therefore you live.