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Ever since I heard that women have one breast bigger than the other, it`s given me another reason to stare.
I have OCD and ADD, so everything must be perfect..but not for very long.
Going on a dangerous assignment. If I don`t come back, can someone please tell my girlfriend that I always found her laugh really annoying. Thanks.
The easiest way to keep a secret is without help
Yes, I realize I’m leaving early. But don’t forget, I also came in late.
You never know what you have until..... you clean your room
Sometimes I`ll go out in public and socialize with people, those times are called alibis.
Paintball is much more fun when the other people at Walmart don’t know we are playing.
Whatever you do in life, always give 100%...unless you`re donating blood...
Got a new Juicer. Going to Juice all these delicious organic vegetables I got ... then add Vodka ... Don`t judge...
If the shoe fits, buy it.
FACT: There’s always room for another cupcake.
They need to put more spider poison in hairspray.
You find it offensive? ... I find it funny ... That`s why I`m happier than you.
Do you like the strong, silent type? Then you`ll love my farts.