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Stop everything you’re doing. Think about me. You’re welcome.
Why does toilet paper need a commercial? Who is not buying this?
I`d watch NASCAR if Hot Wheels designed the tracks.
is easily distracted by shiny objects.
Too bad the little guy "Tattoo" from Fantasy Island isn`t around anymore. They could ask HIM where the plane is!
How to meet a girl: 1) Walk into a bar. 2) Shout “Heroes in a half shell.” 3) When a girl yells back “Turtle Power,” marry her.
I never wanted to grow up, I just wanted to be tall enough to reach the cookies.
I’ve decided to get rid of my bad habits…just as soon as equally satisfying good habits become available.
Do the other settings on the washer actually do anything?
Some people just need a high-five. In the face. With a chair. Made of steel. Twice. From Hulk. On adrenaline rush.
Sobriety is an illusion created by alcohol deficiency.
I`m "BE KIND & REWIND" years old.
You mean you can actually put the cork back in a wine bottle? WHY!!??
It`s 2013. With all the hormones in food and advances in medical technology, why are there still girls with less than C cup boobs?
I like people the most when I`m by myself.