Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I enjoy long walks on the beach and that thing you just did with that banana.
I spend 95% of the time out of bed wishing I was back in bed
I`m an adult. I can eat a cupcake for breakfast & call it a muffin if I want
The Hulk just texted me a picture of a zucchini, I think?
Nothing says “I don’t give a sh!t” like a Hawaiian shirt.
I often confuse reptiles and amphibians. Actually, if I`m being brutally honest, they pretty much never know what I`m talking about
My phone is covered in cupcake frosting and dried ice cream, in case you were wondering how my life is going.
Have you ever wondered if God looks down at you in a humorous moment, chuckles to himself, and says "yeah I made that!"
Life would be so much more interesting if we all had cartoon bubbles over our heads.
It`s depressing to think how much more Dora the Explorer has seen and done in her life compared to mine.
If you want people to know where you stand, wear the same socks for a week
If you want to see exactly how angry a person can get, tell them to "calm down" when they`re already pissed off.
The correct answer to "How are you?" is "Fine." If you ever stray from that dialogue, please know that nobody gives a sh!t.
If I drove a UPS truck there’s a 100% chance I would fall out of the truck when I turned corners.
Anyone knows when is Facebook sending us the W-2 forms