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Every year new words are added onto the dictionary, yet no new positions are added to the karma sutra.
Liking something on Facebook instead of commenting is like nodding at someone in an elevator instead of saying hello.
My personality is 30% the last movie I watched.
Whenever someone says, "Have a good one." I always respond with, "I have a good one, I just wish it were longer."
If you can`t remember my name, just say `donuts`.... I`ll turn around and look.
Wouldn`t it be ironical to die in a living room?
Marijuana is a type of flower, therefore I am a florist not a drug dealer :p
When I`m happy, I drink and when I drink, I`m happy. Win/Win!!
Don`t waste your time being difficult. Put forth a little more effort and be impossible.
Wow, I haven`t seen you since the last time I wish I hadn`t seen you
If people listened to themselves more often, they would talk less.
The people who make medicine clearly have no idea what fruit tastes like
In alcohol`s defence, I`ve done some pretty dumb sh*t while completely sober too.
If you expect the world to be fair with you because you are fair with them....its like expecting a lion not to eat you because you don`t eat lion.
When your feeling down, I will be there to feel you up. ;)