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McDonald`s should have a 3rd window, where you can trade in all the wrong sh!t they gave you at the second window.
Surfing is a good choice for people who like skateboarding but wish it had more sharks.
HA! If you think I`M crazy you should meet ME!
I tend to say “I dont know” when I’m too lazy to think.
Like medicine, some people should only be allowed to talk in doses. Like 30 sentences three times a day.
I would die if I had to stop exaggerating.
Boys will be boys... unless they get a sex change.
i wish i could sleep ... but my damn A.D.D. kicks in and basically 1 sheep, 2 sheep, cow, turtle, duck, Ol McDonald had a farm, HEEEY Macerena.
Ate salad for dinner! Mostly croutons & tomatoes. Really just one big, round crouton covered with tomato sauce. And cheese. I ate a pizza.
My favorite beer is the 15th one.
That`s it!! I`m never drinking again until tomorrow.
I use sarcasm because flat out telling you you’re a moron is considered inappropriate and is frowned upon. And I was raised better than that.
I`m going to spend Valentine`s day with my ex.... Box 360
True love is when you burn your tongue when you take a bite from a pizza and you still keep eating it.
I bet there are muppets that have thought about shanking Elmo.