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What´s the difference between light and hard? You can go to bed with a light on.
Seriously, ladies. If you just stop sleeping with douchebags eventually their species will go extinct. Look at the big picture here.
Honey, your haters are imaginary. No one wants to be you. I promise.
My gift horse is facing the wrong way
I just want to read, have a snack, then take a nap. Basically, I just want to be in kindergarten again.
I put ALL my eggs in one basket at the grocery store.... Today..!!
Sarcasm. Because communicating with morons is hard.
Pretend it`s a beer... Pretend it`s a beer... Pretend it`s a beer... - Me trying not to drop a baby.
wishes life would hand me lemons especially today.. that way I`d have something to throw at the people that are pissing me off
If I hit snooze 3 times it should automatically send an email to my boss saying I`ll be out sick.
tonights theme: grab somebody sexy tell them hey, give me everything tonight!
It doesn’t matter how many signs I put up around the office, HR said high five a co-worker in the face with a shovel day isn’t a thing.
I live in fear of finding hidden cameras in my house & not being able to explain why I do all those random karate kicks directed at no one.
"I love you unconditionally*." -God *certain terms and conditions apply. See Bible for more details.
drinks well with others.