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Is the CEO of Kraft also known as The Big Cheese?
My goal in life is to have a psychiatric disorder named after me.
We will always have that special 5 minutes before I started creeping you out.
My GPS is basically just one more woman in my life who I turn on and then ignore.
Parenting tip: if you beat one child with the other child you can tell people they were just fighting. You`re welcome
Another day, another chance to make someone say, "Oh, now that`s just WRONG"...
I like my women how I like my straws …. Bendy and full of liquor.
How long have I been working here? ... Ever since they threatened to fire me.
I don`t run away from my problems. That`s immature. I ignore them.
It`s scientifically proven that stress is caused by giving a f*ck.
You really are the cat`s pajamas, and by that I mean you`re a stupid idea.
I love cooking with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food. :)
I don`t hate you, but I hope you fall in love and get married.
No, I CAN’T believe how early it’s getting dark. After 4 billion years of this happening I was sure this would be the year it didn’t.
Instead of LOL, try SALTS ( smiled a little, then stopped)