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Sawing a hole in the bottom of a table to steal someone`s cake is way harder than it looks on cartoons.
I spend most of my money on beer and cigarettes.. The rest I just waste.
I watched Americas Got Talent for 15 minutes and I beg to differ.
I wish my GPA looked like the gas prices right now...
only fights if pillows are present.
Yes I walked away mid-conversation. You were boring me to death and my survival instincts kicked in.
Pretty proud of myself, I got a lot of procrastinating done today
Maybe Mondays are not that bad. Maybe its your job that sucks balls.
cofeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffee... Wheeeeeeeeee!
I`m sorry we fought ... I hate it when you`re wrong.
Sometime you have to hand it to short people ... because they can`t reach.
Guy at Dairy Queen was yelling at everybody because they didn`t have waffle cones but they had pictures of waffle cones. That guy was me.
I like when people call me "Sir". I just wish they wouldn`t follow it up with "you`re making a scene."
I`m on that “Starts tomorrow” diet.
I don`t think we appreciate this era enough. For instance, none of us will see old photos of our moms whoring it up on Instagram.