Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
America: Where stairs are only used for emergency escape purposes.
Someone outside the grocery store asked me if I had a few seconds to save the environment. I feel like it would take longer than that...
The most terrifying thing a woman can say to me is "notice anything different?"
Meal prepping is basically eating a week`s worth of leftovers from a meal that never happened.
A man asks a trainer in the gym: "I want 2 impress that beautiful girl , which machine can I use?" Trainer replies: "Use the ATM"
There are over 10 different flavors of Ramen Noodles, yet they all taste like poverty and loneliness.
Walmart calls them self checkouts, I call them I might not pay for some of this.
Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over? Me: To propagate authoritarianism and generate revenue for the state? Cop: ...
Why would anybody put 99 bottles of beer up on a wall in the first place?
Today`s Generation: "Omg my parents never let me have anything." via iPhone
Just found out I`m pregnant. At least that`s what this expectant mother sign for my parking spot says.
Humpty Dumpty was pushed I tell ya. PUSHED!!!!!!
Iām not the kind of person you ever put on speaker phone.
Do short people start their childhood stories with "when I was little", too?
Exactly when in American history did Americans stop having British accents?