Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
It`s not a mental breakdown if the police wasn`t called.
It`s a shame that stupidity can`t be converted into a usable energy source.
A genius would have put Kevin Bacon in Grease.
I am losing Facebook friends at an alarming rate. Whatever it is that I said, is working like a charm.
I just walked by an old man who kept saying, “One, three, five, seven, nine… one, three, five, seven, nine…” I thought, “How odd.”
Have you ever looked at someone and realized "WTF" is always what immediately comes to mind?
I bet no one in Africa is allergic to gluten.
I’m glad we don’t have to hunt for our food any more. I don’t even know where sandwiches live...
I always reply to my wife’s texts with :0))) I’m not being friendly, I’m discretely letting the fat bitch know how many chins she has.
You know when you’re exercising and feel like you could keep going and going? That’s happening to me, only with beer.
Damn, it`s like these people have never seen anyone bring a flask to the gym before.
I`ve decided to take some time off Facebook so I can focus on work and, ok, I`m back
Being a little bit crazy is like being a little bit pregnant - you can only hide it for so long.
I`m the type of person who goes out to a restaurant and orders a veggie burger with cheese and bacon on it.
I have decided to give up procrastinating for Lent ... oh, crap.