Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Calling credit cards "a convenient alternative to cash" is like calling crystal meth a "diet substitute".
That awkward moment when the guy who discovered milk had to explain what he was doing to the cow
If running on a treadmill was the only way to recharge our phones we would be the healthiest mofos on the planet.
That Awkward Moment when you Greet you Brother on some random website. Brett to Daniel. sup Lerch!
If you can’t celebrate Valentine’s Day with someone you love, celebrate it with alcohol and pizza.
If a man says something in the woods.. And there are no women there.. Is he still wrong? O_o
This is why my kids dont take me places anymore ... Waitress: “Do u have any questions about the menu?” Me: ” Yes, What kind of font is this?”
You`re either part of the solution, or you`re one of my coworkers.
Help me Obi Won Bacardi, I`m sobering up.
My girlfriend left me because I`m a legend ... Or to quote her, `Arrogant`.
I want to know what horrific ideas were rejected before they decided "Vagisil" was the best possible brand name?
Society: Be yourself. Society: No not like that
I always wanted to buy a Parrot and teach it to say, "Help, they`ve turned me into a parrot!"
Damn girl are you a cobweb cause you`re really clingy and annoying
Whoever made up the saying "It`s the thought that counts" never got a pair of crocs for Christmas.