Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If I like you, I’ll let you hold the TV remote when we watch TV. If I love you, I won’t take the batteries out of it beforehand.
I don’t care what the expiration date says, I have to smell it.
Jehovah`s witnesses don`t celebrate Halloween. I guess they don`t appreciate random people coming up to their doors.
I had hopes and dreams. Now I have vodka and the internet.
Why didn`t you tell me that I wasn`t going to like you
What happens on online stays online, forever and ever.
I`m not saying I have a questionable work ethic, but I just got called lazy by a guy wearing velcro shoes.
Stop asking why I’m still single. I don’t ask how you’re still married.
My internet went down last week...so I talked to my family....thank goodness the internet came back
I am not cut out for the CIA. All the opposing side would have to do is tickle me and I’d spill all our nation’s secrets.
I don`t hate you, it`s just, if you were on fire. I would roast marshmallows.
why do i feel like you are reading this
Young enough to know I can. Old enough to know I shouldn`t. Stupid enough to do it anyway.
Now that 1 in every 3 people cheats in their relationships,I`m left wondering. . .Is it my wife or my girlfriend that`s cheating?
I`m no magician but I can walk down the street and turn into a bar!