Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
How is it possible that we have one hand that can do everything while the other hand is all, “I can’t even hold a pencil”?
Money is the root of all evil. For more information, send $10 to me.
Ran into the girl who broke my heart. Totally worth the damage to my car.
Call me lazy, but if it takes two clicks I’m not reading it.
An arranged marriage is just another way of saying that your parents helped you get laid.
Help me Obi Won Bacardi, I`m sobering up.
Its sad that we live in a world that puts words into the dictionary if enough stupid people use it.
I`ve just realised that I`ve got one of those cool body types that can eat whatever I want and get fat.
I can cope with voices in my head but the voices outside my head drive me crazy.
I hate when I wake up in a strange house, & have to go outside to look at a license plate to figure out what state I`m in.
I only drink coffee because cocaine is too expensive.
gone fishing ¸.·´¯`·.¸><((((º>
The only thing instant glue sticks to instantly is fingers.
Being in the friend zone is like being the guy in the band who plays that little triangle.
You can tell Charles Manson really loves his fiancee by the way he hasn`t murdered her