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It`s what`s on the inside that counts... *Except chocolate covered raisins.
I`ve considered changing career paths and becoming a demolitions expert, but then I hear the education may cost me an arm and a leg.
Let me check my giveashitmeter ... nope nothing.
Some of you take selfies from so close up, I`m beginning to wonder if you`re a T-Rex.
That "No alcohol beyond this point." sign might as well say "I bet you can´t chug that whole beer!"
I would die if I had to stop exaggerating.
Defeat....the feeling you get when you realize the "next" level is just as hard......
See no evil, hear no evil, date no evil.
I`m ready to regret having sex with you.
I hate being bi-polar. It`s awesome.
If spiders ever come to the realization that people are terrified of them, we`re f*cked.
Today I saw a cat with three legs, which was much better than finding the alternative, just a cat`s leg.
Just been on a diabetes awareness website and it asked me if I accept cookies. Is that a trick question?
A spider just tried to crawl across my hand and now how do you extract a fork from bone without causing more damage?
The problem with reality is that there’s no background music, so you never really know whether something mysterious, evil or adventurous is about to happen.