Daily Silly Status

Boobs: because you can`t suck on a girls personality

I love it when I Google something I should know the answer to and find out 308 people are just as dumb as I am.

I love this oscillating fan, 5 out of every 15 seconds.

My downstairs neighbor thinks I`m a little creepy and that I overstep my bounds. At least that`s what she wrote in her diary.

I never thought I’d be the kind of person who’d wake up early in the morning to exercise... and I was right.

I am used but in good condition.

Everything I know about women, I learned from the Wizard of Oz. For example: If a woman sees a pair of shoes she wants, she`ll drop a house on the bitch to get them.

Jack daniel was found dead by johnie walker at castle strt under savanna tree,captain morgan believed dat he was killed by strongbow.his 4cuzns said that he was best in j&b club at knights...

The best things in life can`t be seen or touched....well, at least that`s what the restraining order says.

Thank god we don`t send messages with pigeons anymore. Where would I find 200 pigeons every day?

Apparently, "Giant ones" is not the appropriate response to the question, "What are the steps you would take in the event of an emergency?"

I know the light has changed twice people but I`m playing air drums until Moby Dick is over...sit back and enjoy the show please...

I`ve run out of things to be upset about. I hope Justin Bieber has kids soon.

No matter how many gross facts you tell me about McDonald’s I’m still gonna eat it.

I`m at the point in my life where "friend with benefits" just means a person who gives me their Bed Bath & Beyond coupons.