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Apparently, starting an impromptu game of leap frog with somebody bending over to tie their shoe is considered rude. Church is boring.
Just because you think it`s a bad idea doesn`t mean we won`t have a good time.
Do you think in the spirit world they have TV shows about trying to make contact with the living?
Now what`s funny is "Si" from Duck Dynasty
If you don’t feel just a little bit of shame after the weekend… you’re not doing it right.
I`m pretty sure country music singers are all just the same guy wearing different hats.
I dont know whats more awkward, answering Dora, or sitting in silence while she stares at you.
Imagine how much faster Olympic sprinters could run if they saw their wives going through their phones at the finish line
I went to buy condoms and the cashier just said "yeah right" and put em back on the shelf
Men are great listeners when you have big boobs ;)
that strange moment when you get in the van and theres no candy...-Drew Balthaser
Basically the whole point of Facebook is so you can see if you’re prettier than your ex’s new girlfriend.
I noticed tonight that I was the hottest cashier at the self checkout line.
Imagine coming home from a long vacation and finding your bathroom towels are wet from just being used. I can do that to your ex if you want.
Sometimes I send status updates from my phone so it looks like I left the house.