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Organized people are just too lazy to look for things!
Does anyone know where the off switch on a child is? I can’t seem to find it.
If you allow your pets to roam free in our neighborhood, I`m gonna put party hats on em. This is non-negotiable.
Don’t worry I won’t tell anyone.. and if I do, I’ll tell them not to tell anyone.
I`m going to hell in every religion!
My girlfriend would be so mad if she found out that I`m telling people she`s my girlfriend.
I think pet shops should give a free laser pointer with every Cat purchase.
Roses are red! violets are buckets. This poem makes no sense. Snot.
Saying that your company has been in business since the 1800`s isn`t a selling point. Slavery existed then too...
Old video games couldn`t be won. They just got harder and harder until you died. Just like real life.
If you think a weakness can be turned into a strength, I hate to tell you this, but that`s another weakness
Guys, if a girl invites you upstairs for "coffee," first make sure she has coffee, you don`t want to get up there and there`s no coffee.
I may look calm, but in my head I´ve punched you in the face 3 times already!
My home security system is just 15 motion-activated Big Mouth Billy Basses.
The fact “gorilla” does not rhyme with “tortilla” infuriates me.