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Anyone who believes that children are our future has not been to a mall recently.
my ex girlfriends started they`re own website they call it two faced book...
I`m sorry I got salsa on your baby, and I`m extra sorry I scraped it off with a chip
I wonder if one day somebody will knock on my door and say to me, “Hey ,we have 7 mutual friends in Facebook; may I come in?"
Golf, except there`s no balls or clubs or anything, and you just drive around in a cart and drink.
When I hear someone say, "chicken pot pie," I get excited three times.
Scientists are adding an extra second to the year 2015. Yeah. Here`s the bad news. You just wasted it reading this post.
How about a T.V. show that just explains the backstory on all of the "For External Use Only" warning labels.
I hate it when totally random strangers ask me stupid questions like "Why are you licking me?"
Any fool can use a computer ... Many do
Just found out the government won`t hire you past age 37. Scratch Navy SEAL off my to do list
I bet if you walked up to any table at a restaurant and said "Good afternoon folks" they will let you take their order.
"What`s wrong?" "Oh it`s personal" Then, why`d you post it to Facebook.
this isn`t the status you`re looking for
My girlfriend isn`t much of a wrestler but you should see her box!!