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There is a big difference between a guy and a girl saying "I went through an entire box of tissues during that movie."
I`ve created a shoe made out of Legos, so when you step on Lego it doesn`t hurt. You just get taller.
Just so we’re on the same page, I’m on 43.
Don`t under estimate me... unless you`re trying to guess how old I am or how much I weigh.
I suspect my gravestone will have a pretty serious urine discoloration not long after I`m gone.
Are you always this stupid? or are you just making special effort today...
Happy St. Patrick`s Day to the fool that gave up alcohol for Lent.
I am not judging you...I already decided I don`t like you
If you can`t celebrate Valentine`s Day with someone you love, forget about it at a bar that you like...
My winter wardrobe consists of my summer clothes layered on top of one and other.
You`ll never see me on Hoarders because I can`t afford that much sh!t.
National no bra day wasn`t as successful as the creators had hoped. due to sagging attendants and lack of support.
I Like this quote. I dislike this quote. I am so clever that sometimes I don´t understand a single word of what I am saying.
I wish bedtime was all the time.
I`ve accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles. My next crap could spell disaster.