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Sometimes late at night, I dig a hole in the back yard to keep the nosey neighbor`s guessing.
I just got off the couch and I think I accidentally did yoga or some $hit.
The Swiss must`ve been pretty confident in their chances of victory if they included a corkscrew in their army knife.
The only people who care about my college degree are the college loan people.
My neighbors don`t appreciate it when I skip along the property line, singing "This Land is My Land."
Saying that your company has been in business since the 1800`s isn`t a selling point. Slavery existed then too...
Behind that fat girl is a beautiful woman...No seriously, she`s in the way.
If you like to make love while listening to music, always choose a live album. ..That way you`ll get an applause every 3 to 4 minutes. :)
I miss my ex a lot... but my aim is getting better.
Here`s an idea...Duck Dynasty Chia Pets
Is it rude to put *vomits* under someone`s post ?
FANNNN...DANNNNN....GOOOOO. Breathe The A`s.
Turns out a At Home DNA Test is not a good baby shower gift.
"I need to talk to you” is the one sentence that has the power to make you remember every bad thing you’ve ever done in your life.
Last night, I fell asleep with one of those new e-cigarettes in my mouth. I woke up half an hour later & my whole apartment was on the internet.