Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I don’t care what the expiration date says, I have to smell it.
Immature is a word boring people use to describe fun people.
I just realized there are more toes in the world than people
I give 2 star movies 5 stars on Netflix because if I sat through this piece of sh!t, I want you to as well.
Four words that I never want to hear: we`re out of beer
"Nineteen letters long" is 19 letters long.
Car horns were invented 1% for safety and 99% because people get pissed off sometimes and need to let a mofo know.
There`s no easy way to steal a watermelon.
Mad respect to people who can stop eating when they`re full.
Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh.
Single ladies, stop saying you should just give up & get a cat , if no man wants you , don`t force an innocent cat to live with you..
I have a lot on my plate right now. Not busy, just hungry.
Dear Rebecca Black, you are the most beautiful And prettiest girl in the world. Don`t let the haters get you down. P.S Forgot to mention today`s opposite day.
If my walls could talk, they`d probably say "stop running into me you idiot"
Sent an email to my Mom. Now I`m at her place showing her how to open it.